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Proverbs – On Husband and Wife Relationships, Prov 21:9, 31:10-31 PDF Print E-mail
Written by John Tsang   
Monday, 12 March 2018 13:34


Better to live on a corner of the roof

than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

(Prov 21:9)



Some Proverbs are so visual and comical that it helps with remembering it. This is certainly one of them and Proverbs speaks about the spouse on the roof on 4 separate occasions (19:13, 21:9, 25:24, 27:15-16). The Hebrew word for quarrelsome carries with it the range of meaning including perpetual annoyance, contentious, and argumentative. How did this couple end up in which one person cannot stand to be in the same room as the other? How did the marriage get to this point in what might be described as a stressed, strained, or a difficult marriage?



One of the quickest way to get your spouse onto the roof is through nagging or bickering. This is often born out of a desire to change the other. The truth is that nagging doesn’t work. Think about it, if it did, you would not have to constantly nag. If you catch yourself guilty of this, stop. Instead, look for some positives to help yourself break out of that cycle of negativity. One preventative measure may be to make sure that you and the person whom you could potentially marry have enough common shared values. Differences, added up, over time can make a marriage very difficult.


If you want to change your spouse, focus on changing yourself.

~ ~ ~

Marriage is one of God’s mysterious ways to grow, disciple, and form you.


Proverbs also offer us a portrait of a wise person in that well-known Hebrew acrostic poem in Prov 31:10-31. This is the culmination of wisdom in the different areas of life personified in a woman. It is a picture of a whole person with every area of life integrated and wisdom at the center. This is not to be seen as a bar or a measuring stick for godliness or a definition of a complete woman but rather, an inspiration to apply wisdom to our lives whatever station we are called to. May we live with godly wisdom at the center of our lives.


Peace and grace, John.



Last Updated on Monday, 12 March 2018 13:42